Weird & Funny


In the 1981 Caveman comedy, Ringo Starr and Dennis Quaid spoke in Cavese:

– „Akita! Akita!”

– „Tala alunda Atouk. Atouk zug-zug Tala?”

– „No, Atouk zug-zug Lana.”

– „Oog?”

– „Oog macha ool.”

For cavespeak aficionados, a concise „Cavese dictionary” is listed below:

akita – come / help.
alunda – love.
araka – fire.
bato – be careful / beware.
bolu – friend.
boondo de bincha – alcohol.
chok – find.
dabo – bird.
daka – fight.
eeya! – help! / emergency!
f’sure – for sure / certainly / undoubtedly / absolutely.
gom – man/male.
gonna – face.
gonna-maka-zook – good-looking.
gonta – go / leave.
gu – in / into.
gu-tawa – cave / home.
kaza – magic thing.
keega – anima / beast.
kuda – come / come out / come along.
kuno – volcano.
lom – woman / female.
lom-gom – sissy / wimp.
loola – like / attracted to.
macha – dinosaur.
maka – big / great / much / very.
maka-daka – kill.
maka-keega – big dinosaur.
maka-loola – love.
maka-neh-zook – terrible / awful.
maka-zook – wonderful / great.
meeka – small / less.
necro – death.
neecha – predator / dino.
neh-bolu – foe / enemy / opponent.
neh-gonta – stay / remain.
neh – no / negative.
neh-soku – dead.
neh-unk – cold.
neh-zook – bad.
nie-keega – pet / trained animal.
nie – tame / nice / docile.
ool – food.
om – person.
oosha – important.
oosha – rule / lead.
oossha-gom – chief (male).
oossha-lom – chief (female).
owee – hurt / wound / bruise / pain.
pooka – an ouch / a wound rendering one a goner.
reeda – food.
reeshi – water.
shashi – stone.
soku – alive.
sonta – come / come here.
tawa – hill / mountain.
tooka-tooka – sex.
unk – hot / fire.
unk-owa – explode / erupt / bang!
unk-tawa – volcano.
vincha – bear.
wooza-gom – medicine man.
wooza – medicine / cure / heal.
yama-gonta – run away.
yama – run.
yeh – yes / positive.
yumma – eat / food / feed.
zeep – fast / swift.
zook – good.
zozzz – sleep.
zug-zug – sexual intercourse.

Si filmul complet la adresa:

Retrieved from:

http://public.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/cavespeak.html

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/caveman/

A more serious note:

„They are typically portrayed as primitive brutes capable only of grunting, but new research now suggests Neanderthals may have whiled away the hours in their caves in conversation.

Scientists who have been trawling through the DNA found in Neanderthal bones have discovered that the now extinct species had a “language gene” that is only found in modern humans.

Their controversial findings create the tantalising possibility that Neanderthals were in fact capable of speech much like humans and communicated with each other through their own language.

As language is seen as one of the key cornerstones that has set humans apart from other animals and allowed sophisticated cultures to develop, many anthropologists now believe it may have allowed Neanderthals to have their own culture.” (Richard Gray, 2007).

Retrieved from:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1566748/Cavemen-may-have-used-language.html

Next time – use FedEx!

So easy a caveman can do it!

The greatest discovery ever made!

Scoala sufletu'Vulpea capitolina

                To: All Romanian Speaking Staff

                Subject: Improper Language Usage

 

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Romania that offensive language is commonly used by our Romanian speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff.

        All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

  1. Words like futu-i, în pula mea, pula and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
  2. You will not say şi-a băgat pula when someone makes a mistake, or s-a căcat pe el if you see someone being reprehended, or băga-mi-aş, when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb a se căca and a se fute are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
  3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as pulă de om, căcănar or bou.
  4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as pulălău nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as muiangiu.
  5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as căcaturi.
  6. Do not say futu-ţi măta if somebody is persistent; do not add pula mea if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say am pus-o (refer to item 2) nor o să ne-o tragă în cur when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
  7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say du-te-n pula mea or should you ever substitute „May I help you?” with ce pula mea vrei?
  8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly corporate supervisors boşorogi împuţiţi.
  9. Do not say ia mai du-te-n pulă cu căcatu’ ăsta when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer futu-te-n cur or să mi-o sugi when your assistance is required.
  10. You should never call partner representatives as boul dracului or tâmpitu’ ăla.
  11. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as pizdulică bună, futăciosu’ or homălău’ lu’ peşte.
  12. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say mă şterg la cur cu ea. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

 

Stairway - To happenDupă ce luni şi ani de zile au fost călcate în picioare în sus şi-n jos, izbite de cărucioare şi biciclete, zdrobite de mobile, frigidere sau materiale de construcţie, pişate de câini (şi) aurolaci, în fine, după ce au suportat canicule, îngheţuri şi vijelii fără număr, iată că a venit şi vremea lor. Vremea ca să fie „rejuvenate”. Şi s-au găsit vrednici de aceasta vreo doi meşteri mari – calfe, nu zidari. Iaca măre cum lucrară, zi de vară până-n seară, să ne toarne la picioară, mândră şi semeaţă scară. Probabil că în acte a costat mai mult decât cea dinăuntru; „în viu”, probabil două sute de lei şi o damigeană de ţuică. Râzi, tu, Darie, dar să vezi cum peste ani va fi inclusă în patrimoniul naţional, mostră de arhitectură avangardistă, combinând curbele lascive ale lui Dali cu asimetria verticalităţii lui Gaudi şi tonurile stilistice Bercea Mondial original. Şi, pentru a oferi contextul estetico-filozofic necesar, am adăugat o serie de instantanee (majoritatea foarte populare pe internet) de la sine grăitoare pentru toţi ce vor să… exploreze şi altfel Grădina Carpatină.

 

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A dust-covered, deep-buried, time-space-warped, alien-inner-circle-hush-hush-thang has just surfaced!

Our (fictitious) undercover reporters brought forth compelling evidence about the darkest cover-up in the history of the Star Trek universe!!

Behind the unfathomable depths of Vulcanian make-up layers, a lightsaber burning look of a human substitute emerges!!!

Take a good look at these pictures:

Paraphrasing Dr. McCoy (from Star Trek: The Original Series): Is not Spock just a „pointed-eared hobgoblin” Clint Eastwood?!?

Cum nu tot ce zboară se mănâncă, nici tot ceea ce excretă Google Translate poate fi consumat. Bunăoară, „punguţa cu doi bani” (un soi de clătită umplută cu carne de pui şi legume) devine în engleză „bag of shit”. Să fie echivalentul politically incorrect al lui „junk food” sau actul de răzbunare al vreunui toxiinfectat cu salmonelă pe meleagurile mioritice? Nu vom şti-o poate niciodată.

Ceea ce ştim însă este că există, în downtown Rucăr, un loc în care menu-ul este chiar mai savuros decât meniul. Străinezul se poate delecta cu un sacrifice of the pig sau cu nişte mesh cu seal de microwave potato farmers to alături, iar, la sfârşit, cu o porţie de papanasam. Nu pot decât să vă wish you enjoy!

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